Wednesday, March 26, 2014

So you think you want to date my mom?

So, you think you like my mom. You and a whole slough of the male population. What makes you special? Just to give you a foot up, here are a few things you need to know before even considering dating her:

1. My mom. She is MY MOM. She could potentially be your girlfriend, maybe even your wife, but she brought me into this world and has made me a priority my entire life. She has known me from diapers to diplomas and I'm not going anywhere. Us kids have made our fair share of mistakes and she's loved us through them all so don't even think you are going to be able to change that. If anyone would have changed it, it would have been my little brother and he's still in the will.

2. She is incredible. She is a rock. She is independent and strong and knows what she wants and puts her everything into getting it. If she opens up to you and makes herself vulnerable, I hope and pray you are wise enough to realize what a wealthy man you have become. There is another thing you should know. I grew up with a shotgun, rifle, and 9mil and am well versed in their use. I currently work as an ER nurse in the President's hospital. I have connections. If you hurt her...well, consider this a fair warning.

3. My mom does not tolerate facades and empty words. Be real with her and she will be real with you. Be fake with her and she will be real with you. She doesn't lie well and is not good at hiding her emotion. Learn that early on and be straight up with her. Oh, and that goes for me too. Don't even try to play any games with me. I've had the ultimate game been put down and have learned a thing or two.

4. I'm her daughter. I'm also her best friend. She opens up to me, even when she tries not to. I have the same problem. She used to terrify me by saying I would tell her my deepest darkest secrets in my sleep. It only scared me because I didn't know what else they were because I had already told them to her. I hope you are able to have that kind of connection with her, but know that I was there before you and I'm not going anywhere. Expect to have to deal with phone calls and visits and someday grandkids because she's always going to be a huge part of my life.

5.My mom is gorgeous. You already know that. She will occasionally complain about cellulite, extra pounds, grey hairs, wrinkles, etc. It is your job to find creative ways to complement her-not the, "Oh honey, you look great!" but something much more original. She and I don't listen to empty complements, so don't waste oxygen. There are old people who have to carry around tanks and could use it!

6.Perhaps you don't know this, but my mom has problems. She is human and she does have struggles. Finding someone you want to spend your life with is about finding someone who's problems you are willing to accept and perhaps help with. In return, they agree to do the same for you. It is give and take. She will give her soul but you better be giving yours in return. A selfless love is what she needs because it is what she offers. Be prepared to make sacrifices because she will do the same.

7.I'm an adult. Don't try to be my dad. I will treat you like family if you earn my respect by being real and treating my mother well. She deserves the best this world can offer. None of us expect you to be perfect-in fact we expect you to fail because we will fail. It is up to you to be willing to admit when you fail and make it right. We all struggle but we all help one another. It is what family is about. Don't bother with expensive things-they are nice but you can't buy my family.

For now, I think I have given you enough to think about. Just know, once you are in, you are in. We believe in trust and loyalty and I hope that you have a better understanding of what you are about to take on. It will be a lot of work, but I can guarantee you that if you are up to it you will never be disappointed.

Good luck!
Her protective daughter, Grace

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