The last couple of months, God has continued to teach me humility by allowing me to go my own way in areas of my life that I have struggled to give up. My unconscious thoughts have been something like this: "Clearly God is huge and wise and powerful, but in this area, well He's only slightly bigger and smarter than I. After all, look at what I have accomplished!"
Ha! Laughable. Our gifts and our talents are simply a loan that He can withdraw at any time. Any good that I have done is pathetic compared to a perfect God. Any bits and pieces of the good that we chose to take credit for become a disruption in our pure relationship with God. Like a clot floating through a vessel that can block an entire area of the brain from receiving the blood, considering the talents and gifts we have as ours prevents us from fully depending on God and thus further cloggs up our ability to understand His heart and plan for our lives.
The first step is realizing how raw and naked we are without Christ. A.W. Tozer put it, "Whoever defends himself will have himself for his defense, and he will have no other; but let him come defenseless before the Lord and he will have for his defender no less than God Himself." Do I REALLY want to use my talents goodness as a defense for my sin in front of the Almighty God?? Not to mention, do I want that "goodness" to be compared to Christ's perfection?
"For who make the thee to differ from another? And what has thou that thou didn't not receive?" Continuing the passage, "If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?" 1 Corinthians 4:7 We must understand that no matter how good the world may perceive us, or how successful we are, we are continually in possession of none of it and cannot brag based on whatever it is that we think we have. "Why do you boast as if you did no RECEIVE it?" It's like renting a sports car and driving it around town, enjoying the ooo's and ahh's as your friends admire it-BUT IT'S NOT EVEN YOURS!
People, what I'm getting at is deeply personal for me-this is directed at me. Living with the knowledge that I am simply borrowing this stuff, talent, body, etc-well it's incredibly FREEING! I don't have to fret about what will happen to me. I can live with the peace of knowing that God is the best of lenders, managers, and investors and as long as I am following His guidance, He will see me through. That doesn't mean I get to live ignorant and foolish, but it does mean I can "cast my cares on Him" and live a much more free life. Enjoy the freedom! You don't have to do the navigating, you just have to be humble enough to follow instructions and patient enough to wait for them!